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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be fun for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?